El Dilector's Party of the Century

The Second Saturday of each month has been deemed Gorgeous and Sassy Girls' Night Out (G&SGNO). This month it coincides with El Dilector's Party of the Century. The G&S girls decide that free drinks and festivities are just what the doctor ordered. Tigerlily, Shakira, Gigi, Orchid and Lola attend the bash.

Shakira feels like she is at her high-school reunion as she enters the party and gives hugs to all of El Dilector's old friends-including Puppy Dog eyes. Tigerlily has a little reunion of her own. It seems El Dilector's new roommate and party co-host was her second love.

"That bastard would never call me back, and I just wanted my shirts!" she ruefully recalls.

Lola spies an ex and looks alarmed. The girls gather around Lola to decide on a plan of action. Gigi downs her drink much more quickly than she'd planned to.

"God, I just suck it down in uncomfortable moments," she notes.

The girls discover the champagne room. It's a special room dedicated to the ladies (hmm, it's El Dilector's bedroom) with champagne, chocolate and fashion magazines. Shakira thinks chocolate is great, but suggests cheese fries.

"Champagne and cheese fries; that's what women really want," Shakira declares.

"Yeah, the chocolate is great, but I still think cheese fries would have taken it to the next level," Orchid agrees.

The girls proceed to bond and discuss their entrepreneurial dreams while sipping champagne. Men peer in, but back away nervously. The girls don't even notice.

Meanwhile, in the backyard, a break-dancing competition has erupted. Shakira snaps photos like a pro. Well, maybe the pros don't cut people's heads off. Sorry, El Dilector. Tigerlily and Gigi cheer wildly and demand private lessons from the Hip-Hop Boys, who are only too happy to oblige.

Like a sweet little puppy dog, Puppy Dog Eyes follows Shakira through the party. Good boy. Stay.

Gigi observes the open fridge. "Lotta weiners in there," she snarks.

"Will there be a sausage contest?" Lola wonders.

G&S Girls' Night is teeming with menz! One of them claims to be a pirate, to Gigi's delight.

"He's a boom operator!" Shakira says. "I already talked to him."

"And also a pirate," Pirate Boy defends himself. He proceeds to tell stories of swashbuckling adventure in Spain. Shakira doesn't understand and wanders off to get a beer. Gigi demands that he tell the stories in Spanish, and stares at him in rapture. Pirate Boy begins to search for Gigi's treasure, but she refuses to let him on board.

"Hands outta my shirt, pal. I have to go," she tells him, and extracts herself from his grip. Back in the kitchen, Gigi eats a rotten peanut.

"Ugh! What can happen if you eat a rotten peanut?" she asks Shakira.

"I think the alcohol is more damaging than the rotten peanut," she offers.

"Good point," Gigi agrees.

Tigerlily holds her cocktail forlornly. "I need ICE, dude, ICE!" she wails.

"I just need something that isn't alky-holl," Lola states. Shakira looks at her like she's lost her mind. The party's just cranking up! It's only 3 AM!

The party has a rock/alternative themed inside and a hip-hop outside. The G&S girls choose hip-hop and head to the dance area where they shake their booties to the DJ's magic tunes. Gigi and Tigerlily decide to see how many men they can "sandwich" on the dance floor. Six boys are lucky enough to become filling…

The girls spy The Merry Hubby dancing gaily with his wife's purse slung fashionably over his shoulder.

"Is that a 'murse'? A man-purse?" Shakira wonders.

Nope, it's a girlie bag. Probably filled with tampons and lipstick.

"If you girls ever see my boyfriend trotting around with my purse on his arm, please remove it for me," Shakira requests. "That's just not manly on the dance floor!"

Tigerlily, Orchid and Gigi head over to the fire pit with s'more fixin's. The trend-setting trio finds some sticks and proceeds to toast their marshmallows. Soon several party guests follow suit. The results are delicious…and messy. Shakira joins the others at the fire, but soon must move away as her bunz are getting toasty.

"My ass is hot but I don't want it to be on fire!" she says.

The G&S girls spot an old friend, The Drill. "Hi Drill!" they chime. They are thrilled to see that he has updated his look…possibly as a result of reading Gorgeous and Sassy!

It's 5:30 AM, and MackTate is quite the Hefner-esque bachelor. Get the man a smoking jacket! He has Tigerlily in his lap, and Shakira and Gigi hanging on to his every word. Mack, Tate, mack!! Thus ends the Party of the Century. Good times, good times.

-Gigi and Shakira 04.13.03