Review: Miss Texas USA: Lubbock
Aww, yeah. Lubbock has more than just beautiful ladies. We have yours truly from Austin and then we have...well, other ladies from across the Lone Star State who dream of jobs in newscasting. Read about it here.

Review: Achieving Zen: The Fast Experiment
Our fast calls for two days of raw fruits and vegetables, and two days of liquified fruits and vegetables. We are supposed to follow that with another two days of raw fruits and veggies, but the need for Mexican food is too strong and overwhelming. Below, a non-food diary:

Day 1 - Big Guy spies moldy tortillas in the office refrigerator and considers eating them. Spends most of his day in the bathroom peeing out the 92 ounces of water he's consumed.

Day 2 - "Can I PLEASE have some bread? Just a little bit of bread?" I beg Big Guy as we walk through the bakery of the grocery store, Naked Juices in hand. Mmmmm. Focaccia.

"No," he replies, swatting my hand away from the bread samples on the counter.

As we get movies from Hollywood video, Big Guy suggests going to sit inside the KFC next door and just inhaling. Chicken has never smelled so good. Yeah, you're talking to the vegetarian.

Day 3 - Am I swooning in front of my computer? Yeah, yeah I think I am. Or maybe my lack of focus on work is because it's…well, work. Dude. I don't feel like doing anything. Except watching TiVo on my big purple couch.

After giving up on work, I go home. I try to lie on a deck chair at the pool and read. I keep reading the same paragraph. I can't concentrate. Except on the thought of a cheese enchilada. The thought is at once so immediately depressing and poignant that I force myself to down a fruit smoothie and concentrate on something else.

Day 4 -That guy in the cube across from me…is that…oh God, it is. It's Chick-fil-A. I want to cry. I want to throw my pomegrante and grape smoothie at him. I want some chicken!

Later, Big Guy asks if I want to get a smoothie for dinner, or if I'd rather go to Fuddrucker's. I start to wail. He holds me and promises that I can have carbs the next day.

Day 5 - Sweet Jesus. I never thought a Luna bar could taste so sweet. I drool on my desk waiting for Big Guy to pick me up for lunch at Souper Salad. THEY HAVE BREAD THERE. I am so excited.

When Big Guy sits down across from me in the booth with lentil soup, his salad sans ham and pepperoni and tells me he feels great, I realize it's happened. Zen. Big Guy is eating healthy. And I can fit in the super low jeans without fear of the tummy hangover. Was it worth it? I don't know. I just know croutons and bleu cheese dressing are the bomb.

Review: Fleetwood Macks on Lubbock
Big Guy calls me on a random Thursday afternoon and asks what I'm doing that night. Working out? No! We're going to a free Fleetwood Mac concert! Aww yeah!

Uh oh. It's at the United Spirit Arena. No drinkies for us. We decide to play Scavenger Hunt. Big Guy lays out the rules: 10 points for a female mullet, 5 points for a male mullet, 10 points for an interracial couple, and 10 points for hair dyed an unnatural shade like pink, blue or green. (Later, he also proclaims that he deserves 15 points for something he calls, "King Mullet.")

"Will you give me a dollar to yell 'Bush sucks'?" Big Guy asks. When I agree, he asks, "How fast can you run?"

My first thought as Fleetwood Mac takes the stage: What is Stevie wearing? What are those? Moon boots? She has this…weird sorceress dress on, and these boots…my God, they must be 5 inches tall: at the toe, not the heel. She's clomping around the stage like they're very heavy. Weights, perhaps, to build calf muscles? more>>

-Shakira 08.05.03