The 10 Don'ts and Dos of Dating a Gorgeous and Sassy Girl

Don't:

1) Lead with the tongue.

2) Mash your face into mine while kissing me.

3) Lunge and shove your tongue into my throat while I'm sitting across the booth.

4) Say: "I make money but so do you, so how about you get half of this?" when the bill comes to the table. (There's a more tactful way to suggest we go Dutch.)

5) Google me. Ever. If I didn't give you my number, there was a reason. I will be reminded of it when I go out with you again.

6) Shy away from my every touch. I don't have scabies, dammit!

7) Expect to be an x-boy after just one date. Or even three. Maybe you're just not interesting enough.

8) Ask, "What are you?" If you want to know my ethnicity, ask me. If you think I'm hot, tell me.

9) Assume that we're exclusive if we haven't discussed exclusivity. I am very popular. Assume that we're not.

10) Expect that I'm waiting for your phone call. If you're calling me today and you want to go out tonight, know that I already have plans…that don't include you.

Do:

1) Pay for everything. If you're lucky, I'll get breakfast.

2) Be funny. If you have to, make fun of other people.

3) Try and kiss me—but please refer to the don'ts section of kissing first.

4) Think of something fun and interesting to do on our date. Fun and interesting is not meeting your friends at the frat house.

5) Drink with me. Rehab is for quitters!

6) Bring me presents—flowers, shoes, food. (Remember, the G&S girls HATE grocery shopping and rarely have food in the fridge.)

7) Remember my name.

8) E-mail me the next day to tell me you had fun. (Also spell-check.)

9) Sing karaoke with me.

10) Praise the Gorgeous and Sassy web site. And my ass. And my eyes. And my lips. And my hair. And my sense of humor. And my intelligence. And my sense of style.

-Gigi and Shakira 02.27.03