"Unless you need Magnums, get the fuck out of my house!" he declares.

Intrepid H. looks uncomfortable.

"It's like, 'What? You thought you could hurt me with that? You're not hurting me; you're annoying me! It's like throwing a hot dog down a hallway!" he continues. Gigi and Shakira exchange glances and giggle.

Gigi gives the group the low-down on her latest Harem of Menz. Shakira suggests she take notes:

1) Deuce Comma. This boy punctuates using double commas. He's stupid but cute.
2) Mr. Fabulous. This guy thinks he's in Swingers.
3) Daddy. This guy has kids. Enough said.

Gigi realizes she must throw them all out and start over. "New menz!" she exclaims, and they toast.

Slyther bids the group adieu and manages to cop a feel on Shakira's boob while hugging her goodbye. The Stooges then head to Bull McCabe's to try and score free drinks from Jimmy.

Gigi returns to the table from getting a drink (paid for, dammit) and says, "Look at our table—ho, ho, ho," while pointing to each Stooge. "What is it, Christmas?!"

The drinks keep flowing and the conversation gets bawdier. And things that probably aren't funny make Shakira laugh. A fireman enters the club and Shakira flashes back to tiny hands when she sees him handling a drink.

"Oh God! They're little!" Shakira yells wildly.

Intrepid H. points out, "The theory may not be true. He could still have a big hose—"

"—To put out the fire of my desire!" Gigi shrieks, and falls on the floor laughing.

Intrepid H. waxes philosophically about his favorite cinematic masterpiece, VideoDrome. He asks Gigi, "Did I let you borrow that?"

"Yes, we watched it together—the stomach vagina!" Ewwwww.

The jukebox is playing hit after hit, spun by everyone's favorite DJs Gigi and Shakira. "Red, Red Wine" by UB40 comes on, and Shakira observes that ThugRat used to be afraid of this song.

"Why?" The Stooges ask.

Shakira shakes her head in wonder. "I have no idea." This leads to a discussion of irrational fears. Gigi admits to being terrified by the theme to M*A*S*H.

"It's what they'll be playing when the world ends," she says gravely, and finishes her cocktail.

Luckily, Jimmy comes to the rescue with three really bad shots. Ewww, Jagermeister. Is it mixed with Nyquil? From there, the Stooges touch briefly on the politics of the world. Intrepid gets annoyed by the girls' peace-loving views.

"Let's stop talking about this. We don't want to bring the conversation to fisticuffs."

"Give peace a chance!" Gigi says. "Listen to Bono!"

"I'll give you some fisticuffs!" Shakira yells, taking a swipe at Intrepid.

Shakira starts shopping for menz for Gigi.

"That one!" she slurs, pointing drunkenly to a guy with nice sideburns. It turns out Sideburns is part of a larger group of Irish menz. Mmmmm. Love that brogue. Patrick sits next to Gigi and starts working his magic—Lucky Charms, anyone? Shakira can see his "lucky charms," though, owing to his open-legged stance. Ewwww.

"I can see his balls-clear as day!" she whispers-or tries to, anyway—in Gigi's ear. Gigi laughs hysterically and Patrick takes it as a sign of infatuation.

He asks Gigi how her Mardi Gras is going and informs her that it's Mardi Gras in his pants.

"Well, we can all SEE what's in his pants!" Shakira says, and Gigi falls off her stool-again. Finally, after negotiating with the girls for Mardi Gras beads, the Irish menz move on to greener pastures. (No, there were no boobies!)

Shakira continues shopping. She spots a weirdly cute man, just Gigi's type. "He's weird and cute! Do you like him?"

"Nice jacket," Gigi snickers. "Where are the other members?"

The girls reminisce about their long-lost friend Snotty Sue, who claimed to have encountered a "triangle dick" in her travels through Sluttiness. Does that make her Snotty Slutty Sue? Slutty isn't necessarily an insult. Slutty can be fun. Speaking of Slutty, Intrepid H. informs the girls he recently got some ack-shee-on! Ow!

The girls scream with glee, "You're a nouveau ho!"

Intrepid H. tells the girls to shut up. But he gives Shakira his jacket so that she can lounge in the booth.

Late night breakfast at Katz's. Shakira is dying for a vanilla milkshake…with lots of whipped cream. Mmmmm. And fried pickles. What more could a girl want? Oh yeah, fries. Gigi's claim is that eating fries coats the stomach and prevents a morning hangover. The Stooges continue to rant and howl with laugher, prompting Shakira to proclaim, "Dude, I'm so funny, I'd like to hang out with ME sometime!" The Stooges toast to that and call it a night.

-Gigi and Shakira 02.28.03