Skinny Jeans are Dumb

Okay, as if shopping for jeans and pants wasn’t hard enough, you fashion industry bitches have decided the skinny pant is in. What the hell were you thinking? Who, exactly, are these fucking skinny pants supposed to fit? Oh, that’s right—the models who are 5’10” and 125 pounds. Because most of the women in this country are built just like that.

And before you think that I’m just bitter because I am actually a fat girl, no, I’m not. I’m a normal girl with a butt and some hips and some thighs. And you know what? I love my butt. GWH loves my butt. I would love for my stupid thighs to go away. That’s why I go to the gym. But you know what? My thighs don’t go away. But I’m fabulous and I’m not fat and a pair of skinny jeans is going to look absolutely ridiculous on me. If I could get one leg inside a pair.

I mean, what was wrong with the boot cut? The flare? Those styles create a nice flattering shape. Thank God these styles are still around while the skinny pant slowly invades. But how long before they take away the other styles and all you can find is the skinny with its 10-inch pantleg circumference?

It’s just not fair, and I hate you fashion industry.

-Shakira 09.12.06