I love scary movies. I love roller coasters. I guess I like to be scared. Every time a new thriller comes out, I beg GWH to see it. I love that he loves scary movies too. Invariably, he reads the review, decides that the movie will suck, and we don’t go. But three so far have survived his screening process: The Grudge, Saw and, most recently, Red Eye.

Both The Grudge and Saw were bona fide freaky in my opinion. (GWH would disagree but it’s not his site, is it?) The problem is that I begged to see Red Eye and GWH agreed, after reading a favorable review. And Red Eye? You let me down, you bitch. Seriously. The next time I ask GWH about a movie, he’s going to say, “Remember how excited you were about Red Eye?” and look at me triumphantly, and then we will have to go see something else.

The premise of the movie is this: [Warning: spoilers ahead!] a hotel manager we’ll call DumbGirl ends up on a plane next to this guy we’ll call Terrorist. (I saw the movie like three weeks ago and I can’t remember their names. I like mine better anyway.) Terrorist wants to kill the Head of Homeland Security. HHS is a preferred guest at DumbGirl’s hotel, so Terrorist wants her to change his room to a more missile-friendly one. In order to make sure she does this, Terrorist has someone sitting outside DumbGirl’s father’s house. If she doesn’t comply with his wishes, DumbGirl’s father is going to meet with an untimely and rather grisly demise.

Hello? What do I care if the Head of Homeland Security dies? Is that really a threat to our national security? Really? Isn’t it a made-up job anyway, created in response to 9/11, that hasn’t really proved its worth? Wasn’t Homeland Security at least partially responsible for the not-so-swift response to Hurricane Katrina?

If it were me, and my dad might die if I tried to be a hero, I would get on the damn phone and move the room. Sorry, buddy, you might hold an important government office, but my dad rates higher on the scale than you. I just didn’t see it as a compelling reason for DumbGirl to risk her dad’s life, not to mention her own.

So, yeah, DumbGirl ends up saving her own life, her dad’s life, and the lives of HHS and his family. And I’ll admit to being startled a few times during the chase scene through her house. But overall, this movie just kind of sucked.