So You Think You’re
Not a Jackass?
X-Boys sign up here! X-Boys arrive at the
show and are presented with their X-Boy Trading Card (some of
which can be found on this site) and must dispute X-Girlfriends’
jackassery charges. The audience takes a vote and decides which
X-Boys are indeed Jackasses. Jackasses reunite at the end of the
season for Jackassery Beauty Pageant which requires them to: dress
up in women’s underwear and evening gowns and do dance routines
choreographed by Jennifer Lopez. The winner receives an all-expense
paid trip to Anthony Robbins University.
Is this a Fox show?
Fug Me Up!
Again by Fox, this show is all about beautiful people getting
FUBAR. Hosted by Roseanne Barr, a beautiful person is teamed up
with a Jerry Springer guest, who coaches them in the fine art
of couch-sitting, pork-rind eating, crystal meth and forgetting
to bathe, and floss. The person most changed wins the competition
and is awarded a triple-wide trailer house.
Please Don’t
Make Me Date…Richard Greico.
A Lifetime special in which women answer questions about their
intimate knowledge of Lifetime movies. The big loser has to go
on a date with Richard Greico, standard Lifetime villain.
Scientology Boot
Camp
The Sci-Fi channel presents this fascinating study in brain-washing.
Hosted by TomKat and L. Ron Hubbard (from the grave.) Do you think
you have what it takes to be a scientologist? The winner receives
a lifetime supply of “vitamins” and gets to help TomKat
plan their wedding!
Who Wants To Be
a Librarian?
Contestants are forced to toil as a librarian in various settings:
high school library, public library, law library, etc. Individual
awards are available in various categories: kicking out belligerent
homeless people, cleaning up unattended child vomit, and convincing
irate tax payers to pay library fines. Gigi judges the winner
after one week and awards them her library school notes. This
show is on cable access.
Who’s Your
Sugar Daddy?
Really old men compete on WB or Fox for one hot gold-digging ho.
Hosted by Anna Nicole Smith.
StarF*cker
To be the ultimate StarF*cker, contestants must have carnal knowledge
of at least five B-list celebrities. A panel of judges from Star
and US magazines deems celebrity worthiness, as well as fact-checking
the StarF*ckers’ stories. In the event of a tie, there will
be StarF*ck-Off! Cinemax, HBO or Playboy are ideal networks.
Do You Want Fries with
That?
Corporate Big Cheeses are taken down a peg when they attempt to
earn minimum wage. Potential jobs include: fast food industry,
janitorial arts, sanitation development and animal control. What
will they do without their jets and private bathrooms? One of
the main networks could pick this one up!
Please Come Out
of the Closet!
People nominate a friend who sets off their gaydar but won’t
admit to being homosexual. The friend arrives at the set not knowing
what show they’ll be on. When the closet door opens, the
audience yells, “[Name], please come out of the closet!”
The host should be Carson Kressley from Queer Eye for the Straight
Guy. The friends list their reasons for believing said friend
is gay. A jury of impartial gay citizens decides if this nominee
falls within their camp. Anyone who walks through the sparkly
closet door wins super fabulous prizes! This one is dead ringer
for Bravo.
Ten Guys Named Mike
Ten guys named Mike live in a house together. Hilarity and hijinks
ensue! What happens when the Mikes stop being polite—and
start getting—Mike? (The show has the possibility for repeated
seasons such as: Ten Guys Named Dave, Ten Guys Named John, Ten
Girls Named Jennifer, etc.) MTV. Definitely.
