Parking Rules

There are rules for parking here in my apartment complex. Don't people GET that? There are 12 apartments and 14 spaces. You do the math.

First of all, MY spot is the one on the east side, right next to the only driveway I can get in and out of without scraping up the bottom of my car. People, there is a REASON I drive in and out of that driveway only. My car is four inches off the ground. The least you could do is leave that space for me. It's a pain in the ass to get into, because you have to back in, but it's MINE. AND it's the only place in the lot where my car doesn't get covered in leaves. So that's the reason it's mine. Fair and simple. I've been here over a year now; I can claim a spot, right?

What's up with not only parking there, but parking incorrectly, and leaving your damn car there for a week? Okay, okay, it's cool; sometimes people are going to snag my space. I totally understand. I'm the loser who comes home from happy hour at 11 p.m. Parking rules dictate that I get whatever's left. But, if you're going on vacation, you do NOT take that spot. It's just plain wrong. There are better places to leave your car while you're gone—I repeat, for a WEEK—that would be more courteous to the rest of us who are trying to navigate our way through the tiny parking lot. And some of these times we're none too alert, okay? When I leave for work at 8 a.m., it's like the middle of the night inside my brain. And my funky dream state brain resents trying to get around your punk ass car.

Which wouldn't be so friggin' hard if you would have parked it somewhere in the VICINITY of the curb. Dude, this truck is MILES away from the parking bumper. Which means it's practically in the middle of the lot. Did I mention the lot is tiny to begin with? Did I? And for one week, one day now, I've been not only NOT able to park in MY spot, but YOUR car has been parked very poorly.

I've been thinking very seriously about leaving a note on the windshield. Maybe I should just leave a copy of the rules instead. Clearly, someone doesn't understand them.

-Shakira 12.03.02