Ooops...I Did It Again!

It started when I was nonchalantly flipping through a magazine at the dentist's office, and I spied a hottie peeking at me from the pages. "Oooh! Cute!!" I thought, "Am I drooling?" And I was! But it could have been the novocaine. Still….my brain was saying, "Mmmm…who is this handsome creature? He's so fine. He's my new man. He's…..Justin Timberlake???? Oh fuck!" Yes folks, I drooled over a Backstreet Boy. AACK! I am a dirty old woman. After all, I am at least old enough to be his aunt. His really hot aunt…

Justin Timberlake foils me, the little bastard. The adorable little bastard….oh dammit Gigi, STOP! The horrible magazine thing has happened to me on at least 5 other occasions since that fateful day at the dentist. And lately, when I am breezing through the channels in search of bad tv…I'll suddenly find myself lingering on Entertainment Tonight and saying, "oh yes…look at him…oh NO, it's HIM!!!" Ugh. The worst of all was last week at Lo's house. We were sharing a bottle of wine and happily ranting while MTV played in the background, when suddenly You-Know-Who's video came on. I stopped mid-rant and stared. I was captivated. I found that I COULD NOT pry my eyes away. He was passionately singing, he was sexily dancing…but in that masculine way, he was looking all naughty. Mmmm. Oh my GOD. I need some sort of intervention.

I don't even know why having a crush on a Backstreet Boy feels so wrong. I mean I have had crushes on a strange and eclectic group of menz. But for some reason I am less embarrassed about my attraction to Michael Landon as "Pa" on Little House on the Prairie (you know, when he'd be out working in the field with his shirt off, but suspenders still on…all hot and sweaty…you know? You don't? Oh.) or Ewan MacGregor in his Jedi costume or my obsession with the Swayze than I am about the Justin thing.

Maybe it's that he's too conventional? He's Britney's ex for God's sake. He's the boy next door. I have always been into the weird, quirky types. Eccentricity is the thing that always gets me. A nice ass is certainly welcome, but if he can sing like Elvis, or has a shrine to Nancy Reagan, collects 70s porn, or has interesting hair then I just know I will feel the crush coming on. So the Justin thing is disturbing to me. It's like I don't even know myself anymore…

Anyway, I don't think I am so far gone that I'll need hospitalization and deprogramming at this point, but if you happen to see me desperately pushing through throngs of 13 year old girls to get a front row seat at "The Battle of the All-Boy Bands"…or something similar, please make a citizen's arrest. It will be for my own good. Thanks.

-Gigi 2.13.2003