Ten Movies We're Not Supposed to Hate

Shakira's Picks

1. Swingers. Why? Why is this supposed to be cool? And why is the phrase, "You're so money" so cool? I was just annoyed the whole time and wanted that guy to shut the hell up. For the love of God. Shut up.

2. Reservoir Dogs. Two words: Gratuitous. Violence. Don't get it. Sorry. It's just a bunch of people shooting each other and bitching. Seriously. I can't bear watching this movie.

3. The Godfather. Again, you're gonna think I'm totally nuts. But I FELL ASLEEP watching this. Had to watch it in installments. Did I mention I was bored? And couldn't-no, wait, didn't want to-keep track of all the characters.

4. Close Encounters of the Third Kind. More like close encounters of the BORING kind. This put Spielberg on the map?

5. Schindler's List. Here's how this one is described: a "fact-based, three-hour long epic of the nightmarish Holocaust." I think spending three hours watching a movie is rather nightmarish. And if the epic three hours out of your life aren't enough, read the ENTIRE SYNOPSIS here. It's just that I was, well, bored and confused the entire time.

Gigi's Picks

1. Titanic. Oh God!!! I want those 3 excruciating hours of my life back. The only thing I liked about this movie was the costumes. Otherwise I found it to be shit. Especially the dialogue. Yeah....if it would have been silent and 2 1/2 hours shorter I would have enjoyed it....but by the end of this one I wanted to drown Leo myself .

2. Forrest Gump. I don't know, it was ok. I liked some parts of it. But the whole "The simpleton knows what's REALLY important" thing started to get on my nerves. I mean, yeah, Forrest was a hell of a big hearted guy, but he was an idiot. If he sat next to me at the bus stop droning about what his momma said, I might be tempted to hit him with a box of chocolates.

3. Magnolia. There were so many good parts to this movie. Even the Cruise was funny, and I am no fan of the Cruise. But damn...too many pieces of the puzzle. And the way it came together... with everyone singing the same song? Yeah, that part hurt me.

4. Eyes Wide Shut. This movie was stupid. I had a huge fight with my ex about it, where he insisted that it was brilliant. I maintain it is crappy and too obvious. I thought it was at least going to be sexy...but nope. Did nothing for me. Maybe I should have had a few drinks first. And the Cruise was soooo annoying in this one. Ugh.

5. Cider House Rules. I really wanted to like it, but I just liked the book so much better. Perhaps it was because the book didn't include the swelling music.

-Gigi and Shakira 3.26.03