The Man Diet: Another Way to Detox

I decided that I needed a break from the menz.  This occured to me one night in a random bar in downtown Austin.  I was sipping my cocktail and eyeing cute menz around the bar and I realized I didn’t want to talk to any of them.  In fact, the thought was exhausting.  I just wanted to go home and watch tv with my dogs.

“I don’t think I’m up for dating right now,” I said to Lola, “Maybe I need to go on the Man Diet for a while.”  We discussed the merits of the Man Diet, a detoxifying program wherein you avoid romantic interaction with guys and then slowly reintroduce them into your life little by little.  It works a lot like a regular detoxifying diet.  Lola had been on the Man Diet before, and she touted its merits.  “You come out of the Man Diet feeling much more confident and energized.  And your apartment will be really clean.”  Hmmm… I definitely needed to detoxify, because something was off kilter, and my apartment was a mess!

This past year was kind of the Man Buffet for me.  What can I say?  I like the menz and they like me!  I dated a whole bunch of guys, most of them really cool ones, but when it came to the point where it would get more serious I didn't feel like I could - even when I really liked someone.  I panicked and bailed out, instead.  Not pretty.  And not really like me.  I’ll admit to generally being a really slow-to-get-to-know-you kind of girl.  But it's not like I've never gotten to know a guy better without panicking.  Look at the x-boys!  Oh...wait let's not look at them.  It will hurt our eyes.  Anyway, something was not feeling right.  I wanted to fix things before I had some sort of breakdown, where I’d be drunkenly sobbing while singing “I’ve Never Been to Me” over and over at karaoke.

The ground rules of my Man Diet were that I would not date anyone for at least a month.  Furthermore, I would sleep in my own bed every night with only my 2 pug dogs as company.  No staying out all night for me!  I enlisted the help of Intrepid H and Firemonkey, two very cute guy friends, and informed them that they would have to escort me to the movies and other places on occasional non-dates so that I wouldn’t totally forget what it was like to go out with a guy.

So I did it!  And I have to say, I kind of liked the Man Diet.  I stayed home more…only going out socially for girls’ nights or to have dinner with friends.  I did a lot of the things I like to do more often and just relaxed.  Apparently the menz had been stressing me out!  I clearly was not getting enough time to myself.  On the Man Diet I was reading more and getting into art again.  I was also writing new stuff for Gorgeous and Sassy…finally after a long hiatus!  And I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom.  Lola certainly was right about that!  I also went on long walks with the pugs and went to the gym more frequently.  Ah, renewal!  The Man Diet is great for your health.  I feel pretty good about my detoxification.  I wasn’t perfect.  I’m not great at dieting, and hey, it's not like I can turn off my cute.  But on the whole I was mostly man-free for one month.

I highly endorse the Man Diet.  I don't feel like I want to go back to the Man Buffet at this point.  I need to go more slowly with getting to know guys.  The menz are demanding...and often in a good way, but I need to have plenty of time to do my own fun stuff without them.  I think these two things might be the key to not freaking out.  We'll see.  Maybe I'll test the waters with a Man Sample or two, while being sure to continue doing all of the things I like to do....and I'll definitely try to clean my apartment more frequently.  My place looks great!

-Gigi 09.18.03