Hey DJ Bring That Back!

We step up to the line behind a cute, curvy girl in a pink dress.  There's a guy ogling her and she's pretending not to notice him, though she's smiling, just slightly.  The guy sees me approach and he openly stares at my ass.  You're a smooth one there, Oglesby.  "Daaaamn," he says. "It's apple-bottom CITY here!"  This makes me laugh.  I have to admit, I love the hip-hop boys because they are the only ones who truly appreciate the round booty.  Dash laughs as he puts an arm around me.  "He's right, you know.  Hell, you could be the mayor!"  He laughs again.  "You're the Murrrrrrr of Apple-Bottom City."  We both dissolve into laughter at that and soon we are at the Stubb's entrance and on our way into the show.

I scan the crowd nervously for children, specifically the ones I work with.  No good to run into the kids at a show.  I'm wearing a cropped top and tight jeans and guzzling a big ol' beer.  Now is not the time, kids.  My plan, should I see one of them, is to say that I am my own twin sister, and to tell Miss Gigi "hi" for me when you see her tomorrow at the library.

Chingy is already up on stage.  Damn, he's kind of cute.  I feel sort of scandalous saying so. Is he even legal??  All of the little 12-year old girls I know love him. "Chingy's my huuuuuusband," they say.  I love the way they draw out "huuuuuusband".  Makes it sound so sexy, and not like some fat slob playing video games while permanently fused to your couch.  Well, Chingy may be cute, but he's not my huuuuuusband.  I believe Sam Adams is my true huuuuuusband.  In fact, I'm gonna get a bottle of my huuuuuusband right now.  He's so refreshing.  Oh how I love that man.

I am not so familiar with Chingy's songs, but he puts on a great show and really gets the crowd moving.  He plays Right Thurr as his last song, and the crowd goes wild!!!  I love that song!!  It has that crazy video filled with women shaking their voluptuous butts.  That video is a tribute to the booty.  It's a trib-booty!

Ludacris takes the stage next.  He launches into the song Area Codes and says that he has lotsa hoes in the 512.  A bunch of girls scream, loving the shout-out.  This man totally plays to the crowd.  People are on their feet and moving to the music.  He plays all his best, including: Roll Out, Move Bitch, Splash Waterfalls, We Got, Act a Fool, Holidae Inn, Stand Up, and my personal favorite, What's Your Fantasy?.  Damn, that's a good song.  So naughty.  But who doesn't like being li-li-li-licked from their head to their toes, I ask you?  There's even a shout-out to the library in it.  Hey, speaking of the library, how come I didn't see more librarians in da house?  Clearly Luda is a library lover.  So to speak...

This was just a kick-ass show from start to finish.  If they come to your town, you definitely have to check it out.  You won't regret it.  The Murrrrrrr of Apple-Bottom City gives it her highest recommendation.

-Gigi 03.17.04