Celebration Happy Hour

GWH arrives first and orders a Lone Star. When I question his choice of beverage, he tells me Lone Star is the National Beer of Texas. Yet his next beer is a Dos Equis. And then he pours the remaining Lone Star into the Dos Equis. He looks at me.

“Immigration.”

He and I write down our score predictions for my test. They differ by 10 points. Clearly, GWH thinks I am a genius. Studying the menu, we debate what type of sausage a banger is. Even with my genius powers, I have no idea.

“Blood sausage?” I offer. “I mean, it’s English, right?”

Diva, TDawg, and Sweet Thang join us. LP and Gigi bring a couple of LP’s friends: the better to hit on Sweet Thang, I wonder? We enter into a debate about mushrooms. GWH and LP and decidedly against them.

“What is the nutritional value of a mushroom, anyway?”

“It tastes like fungus.”

“It tastes like licking the side of the shower.”

“How would you know?”

We move from mush-room to must-ache. I declare that no one can have a mustache unless it’s attached to a Fu Manchu. Then we decide there are certain exceptions to the rule: Tom Selleck and the guy who plays Victor on Young & The Restless.

“Victor Kiriakis?” TDawg asks.

“No, he’s on Days of our Lives,” Sweet Thang says. “But I am impressed with your soap knowledge.”

“For the record, TDawg, I am the opposite of impressed,” GWH says.

Did Richard Dean Anderson ever have a mustache? Somehow we end up discussing GWH’s boy crush on him. It turns out GWH’s mother ran into him—literally? I can’t remember; I’ve had a few at this point—on the ski slopes in Colorado. GWH regales us with tales of his brainiac attempts to mimic MacGuyver’s impressive feats.

I return to the table later to find we are discussing how bake sales at work are indicative people’s personality types:

I decide the last category would definitely be me.

Three weeks until my scores come in. Until then, I’ll try and wind down. And not bake while drinking.

-Shakira 06.12.06