Game 10: Kansas

So Kansas is a home game, and GWH manages to score us some tickets. We hurry up and pound a margarita at the Texas Exes Club, then walk over to the game. It turns out we’re kicking so much ass we give up on the sober game-watching experience in favor of the UT Club’s Tailgate Party. Mmmm beer.

Game 11: Texas A&M

GWH’s family and my family have combined for one crazy Thanksgiving celebration. Mom and Nana are out on the porch drinking wine, GWH’s little sister is running from the dog, PaPa and GWH’s dad are falling asleep on the couch, and in the middle of all this? We manage to put another win under our belt. See ya later, Aggies.

Game 12: Big XXII Championship: Colorado

We return to GotsGame’s house for the Colorado game and GWH brings on the Lockhart barbecue. These early games are hard: we’re drunk by five p.m. but we’ve almost completely shut Colorado out. Wheee! Bring on USC!

Game 13: Rose Bowl: USC

Due to recent teeth bleaching, I am forced during Rose Bowl evening to stick to light-colored food and drink. You know what that means. Vodka! I start downing vodka tonics with kickoff thirty minutes away, and we settle in on the back porch at GotsGame’s house to watch our team.

We take an early lead but when USC scores and begins to even up the score, the party sobers noticeably.

“It’s going to be okay,” I tell GotsGame, as I refill my drink.

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

About halfway through the game, the Tivo wants to start recording “Law and Order” and threatens to change the channel. The entire party—about 20 of us—yell to leave it where it is.

“And you call yourself a Tivo-ist?” I call drunkenly to GotsGame.

“You watch your mouth or we’re ALL watching ‘Law and Order.’”

Things are looking dicey with the game so I decide a rally tequila shot is in order. GotsGame’s brother The Historian joins me in the kitchen, but for some reason no one else wants to take a shot with us. Hmmm, could it be the extremely bad tequila?

“This one’s for the team,” we grumble, examining the label. What the hell is this stuff anyway? With no salt, no lime and no chasers, this better change the tide of the game or my hangover will be all for naught.

Outside on the patio, we’ve discovered that our lighting of the chimenea has resulted in some fire damage to the deck chair. Ooops. I decide that the raging fire represents the Longhorn team being hot.

[Later, GWH informs me that I really went off the rails after that first tequila shot, which is followed by another one once our team goes down 12 points with six minutes remaining.]

Then, it’s fourth and five and Vince has the ball and there’s 19 seconds left and I’m clutching at GWH like grim death and Vince is running to the corner and he crosses the line and GWH is picking me up and I’m spilling vodka tonic down my sleeve and we’re screaming at the top of our lungs about the Horns and number one and “I love yooooooooou!”

There are phone calls following this triumphant win. I have vague recollections of conversations with Davito and Contrary, and also of being picked up by GotsGame and thrown over his shoulder.

“I told you it would be okay!” I’m screaming.

And so, a historic Longhorn football season has come to an end. No, I will not be getting the tattoo. I was bluffing, all right? But I do love my Horns and I feel that perhaps GWH and I had at least something to do with this National Championship. Didn’t I say it at the beginning of the season? Wasn’t GWH voted Fan MVP at GotsGame’s house every week? Didn’t I tell everyone year after year to lay off of Mack? Yeah, that’s right.

Winning isn’t everything? Wrong.