LP's Birthday Karaoke Extravaganza

The venue is rather crowded for a Wednesday night. And the 80s called, and they want the DJ's hair back! Holy crap, that DJ is sporting a mullet! This is no ordinary mullet either. It's a flat, shapeless thing…it looks like Mr. DJ has over-conditioned.

The girls eagerly peruse the song list; Gigi has been studying the online version for the past two days. Oooh, what's that nasty song by Sting? "Fill her up?!!" Awesome!

"I love Sting!" Gigi exclaims. "He's such a naughty boy." (The girls are later disappointed to learn the stupid song is about gassing up a car.)

Gigi puts in her request for "Jose Cuervo."

"He's not my friend," Shakira moans. Meanwhile, she has decided to sing "Like A Virgin."

"Nice try," Gigi snarks.

Diva (who really does have a voice like a songbird) sings "Hanky Panky" for LP. Nothin' like a good spanky, LP! LP obliges by leaning over the bar and offering his bootie. Gigi swipes at it but misses. Lover Boy dances suggestively with not one, but three of the girls present. Shakira worries she is about to receive her first kiss from a gay man. At least she thinks it would be the first kiss from a gay man. One never knows.

It seems Gigi has an admirer. He tells her he's going to sing a special song for her: "Hello Mary Lou." Apparently he thinks her name is Mary Lou? Okay. Whatever. On to Gigi's second admirer. He sends her a beer after her stirring rendition of "Jose Cuervo." Wouldn't a shot have been more appropriate? Details. He walks up to her and says, "Thank you. Do you know why?"

"No."

He stares at her feet. Hmm, seems Old Uncle Pervy has a little fetish. "Your ankles. And you're showing them." Huh? More beer.

After Shakira finishes her first song, Spidey comes up to her. "You sho' don't move like a virgin." Clever. Shakira moves on. And surprise surprise-she also has a drink buyer! The mystery man is rumored to be one of the young guys at the bar, but he never appears. Hey! Thanks for the beer!

LP is sporting a Debbie Gibson concert T-shirt. In honor of his favorite artist, he chooses to sing "Foolish Beat" to the horror of the crowd. But he sounds a lot like Debbie. She would be proud.

"Where is Debbie Gibson?" Shakira ponders.

It appears DJ Mullet has some hate for the group. What up with that? He's playing everyone else's songs but not theirs. The waitress claims he puts the songs in as he gets them, but the waitress lies. LP is incensed. He begins penning his own "special" requests:

Your Name: Mullet man
Song Title: You're Dead Meat.

And another old favorite:

Your Name: Mullet man
Song Title: Check Under Your Car. Now.

The girls convince him not to submit those requests. It would be a shame to spend your birthday night in jail. And what if they could not return to the Common Interest ever again?! Life would not be worth living without karaoke.

Shakira and Gigi finally get a chance to wow the crowd together. They turn "You Give Love a Bad Name" into a duet. Some of the guys in the audience seem to think the girls are singing to each other. They jump up and cheer wildly. Sorry boys. The G&S girls know all about the Blonde-Brunette Fantasy. It's just a fantasy, boys. Get. Over. It.

Uncle Pervy returns for another round with Gigi. Hey it's 1:57 a.m…it's that time. Gigi is so horrified that she can't understand what he's saying. He leans in to give her a kiss and she leaps away. He presses a card into her hand and says, "Call me, baby." It says his name, and then his title: Pilot. If only it said Pirate. Gigi loves pirates. Aaargh!

Lucky for Shakira, Uncle Pervy has a friend. Ears Mahoney tries to buy Shakira a drink. Again, it's 1:57. Too late for that. Drinkin' time is over. And all the beer in the world wouldn't be enough for Shakira to EVER call Ears Mahoney. He, too, has a card. He claims he's started his own business and is looking for "marketing people." So that's what they're calling it these days? Eww.

DJ Mullet invites everyone to sing one last number: "Good Night Sweetheart." And it is indeed time to go. Good night sweetheart!

-Gigi and Shakira 04.13.03