|
Il Bastardo: A Review of Every Jilted Woman’s Favorite
Wine
This fantastic Italian wine was bottled in the year 2002, which
is revered for two special events: (1) the birth of Gorgeous and
Sassy and (2) the Great Breakup Season. Boy, was that a rough
one. Was there a full moon? No, actually, Venus was in retrograde.
“Mmmmmm.
My, does Il Bastardo soothe the painful memories!” Shakira
says.
And
so it begins: as the girls visit El Bastardo, so do they revisit
2002. There was a lot of drinking done that year. A lot of menz
sought after that year. A lot of menz sought after the girls that
year.
“We came, we saw, we conquered!” Gigi
raises her glass high.
Oh, by the way – Il Bastardo is a sangiovese
from Tuscany. The label features a fat bastard, which seems appropriate,
considering many x-boys tub right up after breaking up with a
G&S girl. Get a grip, dude – go to the gym!
Il Bastardo prompts a new game for the G&S
girls. Following: one nice thing and one not-so-nice thing about
each x-boy:
| x-boy |
Nice
Thing |
Not-So-Nice
Thing |
| Nurse
Egon |
|
|
| Vile
Niles |
|
|
“I’m stuck,” Shakira says. “A
nice thing? Hmmm. He was boring…but he was really good at
being boring!”
“Vile Niles’s mom was really cool.”
“But that’s not really HIM. That’s
his mom.”
“Damn. Let’s drink to her.”
“Agreed.”
“A toast to all the x-boys I’ve loved
before. Dead to me.”
-Gigi
and Shakira 09.01.04
|
