Why I Just Don’t “Get” Gambling

So I had the opportunity to go into a real casino and gamble last week. Let me tell you, I was super excited to pull the crank on the slot machine. (That sounds really gross.) But, alas, there wasn’t a whole lot of joy. I did win a couple more cranks on the machine, but a pile of shiny coins did not come jangling to my waiting cup. No, there wasn’t much except me being two dollars poorer.

I guess maybe I just don’t get the gambling thing. Given my penchant for heavy drinking and general carousing, I always figured that gambling would fit right into that world. I mean, I used to love the horse races when I was a kid. Maybe those are just more my speed. Perhaps I needed more time gambling – or needed to be more drunk? Whatever it was, I was done after my two rounds on the slot machine.

My friend AlternaGirl lost $40 in about 20 minutes at the Black Jack table. She kept encouraging me to sit down and try it. Dude! No way! I can think of a much better way to lose $40 in 20 minutes and it involves getting drunk and/or new shoes. I guess if you’re winning, it’s a completely different story. But then if you’re winning, and you’re sitting at the table, they come by with those yummy free drinks…and then you’re screwed.

I suppose a serious gambler would concentrate on his game, refuse the free drinks, and have enough money stockpiled to really get down to business. Blah. I prefer to hang out at the bar and watch football. I can bet on that.

-Shakira 10.18.04