El Dilector is Having a Birthday!

I kick the night off at Bull McCabe’s because apparently El Dilector cannot be bothered to show up on time to his own birthday bar location.  Thus, I must pre-party drink elsewhere.  Walking in, I discover Colorado, MackTate, Bloke and Luke sitting at a table.

“My, what a delicious man sample!” I exclaim.

“Ladies and gentlemen, Shakira,” Colorado says with a grin.

“Who’s going to buy me a drink?  It’s my brother’s birthday, after all!” 

Colorado dutifully obliges.  Sweet!  Let the games begin

I join the conversation to find Colorado talking about kids on planes or something.  I think there is some discussion about people holding their babies on their laps and how we disagree with it…or perhaps we disagree with airlines and their child seats for full price?  I don’t know. 

“I got a lot of fuckin’ soapboxes,” Colorado says. 

“I’m just going to keep drinking,” I say to MackTate.

“Good policy.”

After this round, it’s time to find El D and see if he’s arrived for his own birthday party.  Thus, over at Creekside, we find the party in full effect. 

Bloke and I take out the camera, the notebook and start ordering more drinks.  Oh yeah.  This is when I horn in on Colorado’s plan to take shots with Luke, and am forced to down whiskey.  (This might be my first mistake of the night.  There are many, many more, but most of them I cannot recall.)

And here is where this Dark Side of Drunk takes perhaps a different turn than most of you fans are used to.  I know that your favorite thing is to read about how funny/stupid/silly/insane El D is, and this is usually accomplished by a heavily edited accounting of his real-time antics and statements.  However, El Dilector and I barely see each other all night, so here is what I have. I begin asking for stories about El D and how people met him.  Behold:

(1) A bachelor party at Polvo’s.  On to the strip club, and then we started rocking out.  Friends ever since.

(2) I followed him into our apartment building.  He said, “Do you like drinking wine?”  So I followed him to his place.

(3) I hired him.

(4) I was drunk at Fado’s on a Sunday.  There he was. 

(5) I met El D through a friend of mine at happy hour at El Arroyo.  He didn’t do anything stupid but I could tell he was into me.

(6) El Dilector said he would send me his pdf file on how to meet women.

(7) Beer Friday: we got fairly drunk by three p.m.; keg was done at seven p.m.  We had just gotten paid so we went to the strip club.  Later that morning, the space shuttle blew up.

(8) I don’t remember the first time I met him.  He’s pretty much ubiquitous in my life.

(9) We were both high school misfits.  I antagonized him.

Some other things happen, but I think this sums up our night pretty well.  Here are the final highlights: there is a list of people who are allowed to come to the After Party, but we don’t stick to it; roughly 20 people show up instead of seven.  Also, there is a punch in the nose, some crying, some dancing, and someone winds up sleeping in a closet. 

Names withheld to protect the guilty.

Happy Birthday, El Dilector.  I don’t remember meeting you either, since it was shortly after birth, but it’s been quite the wild ride.  Much love to you, then, now and always.

-Shakira 03.10.10