Gorgeous and Sassy Deal Breakers

1. Excessive video game play.  We reserve the right to define excessive.

2. Atkins diet.  You just ate a plate of bacon?  And chased it down with pork rinds? You’re a hog, get away from me.  Now.

3. No form of physical activity in your life.  No, getting off the couch to get more chips does not count.

4. New country music.  If Garth Brooks is on your list of favorite artists, you’re not on my list of favorite men.

5. Love of the doobie.  We reserve the right to define love.

6. Great friends with your ex.  Why don’t you just go ahead and date her?

7. You don’t believe in book learnin’.  I don’t believe in you.

8. No phone.  What year is this, Jethro?

9. You think that chivalry is dead.  You’re dead to me.

10. Fantasies of four kids, a square of lawn and a minivan.  Uhhh…no.  These Gorgeous and Sassy girls are not made for the suburbs.

-Gigi and Shakira 03.26.04