2. She pretends not to know that you were dating exclusively.

3. She talks about how she “just got out of” a really intense relationship and she’s not really “ready.”

4. She needs some alone time. Like a week. Or two weeks.

5. She starts to avoid sex unless drunk or half-asleep and horny. In which case, she wakes you up in the middle of the night, so she can pretend you’re someone else.

6. She has plans “with the girls” every night for the next ten days.

7. Every time you call, she’s on her way out.

8. She’s too tired to go out with you. Too tired for you to come over. Too tired to talk to you. Too tired to type an email.

9. She seems annoyed with little things that you do. Well, she’s annoyed with…everything that you do.

10. She keeps apologizing for ignoring you while she flirts with an x-boy.

-Gigi and Shakira 06.08.04