Bill Clinton's Visit to the Daily Show

The Gorgeous and Sassy girls notice that Bill is a giant! Wow! Either he is really really tall or Jon Stewart is 5'2". Mmm....tall guys. Stewart addresses Bill as 'Mr. President.' Interesting.

"Do they always call you 'Mr. President', even after you leave office?" asks Shakira.

"Sure, it's like me with the title 'Librarian'." Gigi replies.

Mmm....happy birthday Mr. President! Gigi and Shakira think President Clinton is looking GOOD.

"I've always had a little thing for him," admits Shakira sheepishly. "He has a sexy voice. Great White Hope can do a really good impression of him and mmmm...." Shakira sighs dreamily.

"Oh my God! Vile Niles used to do a great impression of him, too. We decided that Bill was the type of guy who'd name his penis 'Pecos Bill.' It used to make me laugh my ass off when VN would do the voice...'I'm gonna bring Pecos outta the barn...' and then he'd unzip. Yeah. That actually worked on me..."

At that the girls turn their attention to the show. Mr. Clinton is making a point! He is discussing Republicans and their dirty ad campaigns. He points out that while Bush and Cheney never fought for their country, they are criticizing Kerry's service record. Hmmmm.... He suggests that they are doing this to deflect attention from from their lack of service. Interesting.

"Why did I think that Cheney was a veteran?" Gigi asks.

"Probably because he's so old and grouchy." Shakira opines.

They begin to discuss Clinton's HUGE ASS BOOK. Good Lord that's a book! The prez claims that he did not have a bit of writer's block in the whole 2 1/2 years he was writing it. No kidding.

Jon and Bill do not discuss the whole Monica thing, though. Guess he did his talking about that issue on Oprah.

"I always felt bad for Monica, because you know she just wanted to dish with her girls about all of her naughty exploits. And her only girl was that mean, fugly Linda Tripp. Damn." Gigi rants.

"I know. If only she'd known the G&S girls." Shakira says. "We looooove dirty secrets. And we totally know how to keep it in the vault."

They reflect on how fun it would have been to share cocktails with Monica while discussing the president's...uh...presidential bid-ness. Awesome. Monica, if you're reading this, know that you can always hang out with the G&S girls!

They tune back in to catch Clinton's best quote of the night. He says, "If you're a Democrat, you win when people think."

Amen, Mr. President. Truer words have never been spoken.

Gigi and Shakira 8.15.04