Do Gorgeous and Sassy Girls Camp?

As soon as we got on the road to Inks Lake State Park  I felt the dread creep in. I hadn't camped since I was fourteen - which is the same age at which I last rode a bike. Apparently fourteen was a gateway to laziness for me. And boy have these last 20 years been restful! But now I had some serious trepidation about sleeping outside. And about wolves. Does Texas have wolves? How about wolverines? Yikes!

Zorra and LP did not share my wild animal concerns. They were certain we'd have fun, which calmed me a bit. As we neared the entrance, I noticed that there was a convenience located less than a mile from the park. THANK GOD!!! We could always get more snacks and beer! I could definitely survive camping!

We found our site...next door to like 3 minivans of families with little kids. Uh-oh...

"Cooper!! Cooooooperrrrrrr!!!!!" shrieked a soccer mom at a little tasmanian devil-like boy who looked to be gouging out his sister's eye. Nice kid! We'd hear shrieks of "COOPER!" throughout much of our trip. It turned out that little Cooper was kind of a brat. Or hard of hearing. Or both.

Putting up a tent was waaay more complicated than I remembered. Apparently tent assembly is not like riding a bike. You can definitely forget how to do it. I wonder if riding a bike is like riding a bike? Interesting...

I made several helpful "pitchin' a tent" and pole jokes and finally, with the help of a sledgehammer and an Eagle Scout or two, the tents were pitched and it was time for swimming. Loverboy arrived and wanted to explore the "Devil's Watering Hole" area of the park.

Devil's Watering Hole turned out to be much more gorgeous than the name implies. It was surrounded by big rocks that you could jump off of, or lounge around on, according to your wishes. Unfortunately, the rocks in the water were covered with slippery green algae. Kind of gross. But don't some people slather themselves in algae as a spa treatment? Zorra and I decided we could open up a spa at the Watering Hole. We'd give algae treatments, make people do water aerobics, and offer hot rock massages. Let the cash pour in!

After hours of swimming we went back to camp to find that the rest of the gang, Vixen, Sammich, V. Metal and Lil E had arrived, along with their dogs. And more beer. Yes!! LP fired up the grill to make fajitas and we commenced drinking and pigging out.

At one point Loverboy went to the cooler and asked, "Who brought the champagne?"

Nobody answered and I happily chirped, "Ooh, champagne! I love champagne!" in my hope that the bearer of the champagne would share. Unlike everyone else at our campsite, I did not find it unusual to have champagne on a camping trip. Come to think of it, I really wouldn't find champagne unusual anywhere. The library? Of course! Church? Why not? The gynecologist's office? Sure, bring it on! It will relax me.... So I did not notice LP accosting Loverboy and demanding that he shut up already about the champagne.

It got really dark and LP asked me if I wanted to go for a walk in the woods. This actually didn't sound so appealing to me. It sounded more like the prelude to a killing scene in a slasher movie. I preferred to sit at the picnic table and drink. But he persisted, so I reluctantly agreed. He stopped off at the car, telling me he needed to get his wallet out of the glove compartment. I thought this was a little weird.

"Why do you need your wallet in the woods?"

"Uh...I just think it would be safer with me than in the car."

"Oh, OK" I said. But I was thinking that LP was kind of a dorky Boy Scout who always wanted to have ID on him or something. Luckily I dig dorky Boy Scouts. And "Be Prepared" is always a good motto for any companion of mine.

So we walked over to the Devil's Watering Hole, which I'd taken to calling the "Devil's Asshole" in my usual mature fashion. We sat down on one of the rocks by the lake and looked out at the stars reflecting on the water. It was so beautiful and serene. We sat there leaning on each other, looking at the stars and just being happy.

"I think I like camping," I told him "And it's so beautiful here. Wow, this might be one of those rare perfect moments you get in life!"

LP agreed with me. Then he started talking about how much fun our year together had been and how amazed he was every day about how much fun we have and how happy we make each other. Then he reached in his pocket...and pulled out a ring box. And proposed to me right then and there. Holy SHIT!!!

It's a good thing he was there, because I almost fell into the water. But damn, I saw that rock and I just had to say yes! Oh yeah...LP's really great, too.

Then we went skinny dipping in the lake to celebrate our new engagement. But the water was pretty cold so the celebration was brief. So, we went back to our campsite to tell our friends, drink champagne and celebrate more. Lil E did her booty dance of celebration. V. Metal took pictures. Everybody got drunk. The rest of the camping trip is a blur of celebrating and fun. I can honestly say it was one of the happiest nights of my life.

So the answer to the title question is a resounding "YES!" Gorgeous and Sassy girls do go camping. And champagne and jewelry can only enhance the experience.

Oh my God. I'm getting married!!! Stay tuned for exciting Gorgeous and Sassy wedding updates....

-Gigi 10.27.05