Shakira hangs out with GWH and his friends and waits to get drunk. She’s also waiting for Gigi, who is busy at Book Club: once a librarian, always a librarian. Shakira watches with interest as Leery fondles GWH’s lighter. He’s about to light his hand on fire, as he’s holding it upside down, but she doesn’t say anything. As she’s about to warn him, he succeeds in flipping the switch and nearly burns his hand.

“Oooops,” she grins.

It’s time to get things cranked up and someone arrives at the table with shots. It’s Tequila Time, everyone! Happy Birthday Hartnett!

“Here’s to one more cracka leaving the state!” Boss Man says, raising his glass.

Hartnett and Shakira team up against Waldo and his girlfriend Waldette for a rousing game of pool. Shakira’s pool window is open. She starts the game with a killer shot. GWH looks on proudly.

“You taking it easy on them?”

Shakira shrugs and hands the cue to her partner. They’ve got this game locked up! Waldette doesn’t really play pool so Waldo is teaching her. It comes down to the 8 ball and it’s Shakira’s shot. She doesn’t give it enough power and it stops shy of the corner pocket. She decides an appropriate response is throwing the cue on the table and yelling, “FUUUUCK!” Unfortunately, her balance is just a tad off – yeah, that pool window is closing – and she almost falls, spraining her thumb in the process. Dude, that shot that could have marked her place in history! Okay, so it’s a game of pool at G&S that isn’t really a big deal. But it FELT like she could have been somebody.

Gigi arrives and the men flock to her. In fact, Leery can’t stop snapping photos. Gigi and Shakira choose the next selections on the jukebox. GWH frowns as one of their songs comes on. “Who picked this shit?” he asks.

“Um, we did, so shut up,” Shakira answers.

It’s time for another round of tequila. But where is the Birthday Boy? Apparently he has stumbled home for some reason. Perhaps he finds the bathrooms at G&S distasteful and dirty. As if he just felt the tequila calling him, he returns from his home sporting this stupid derby hat perched on his head at a really odd angle. GWH admits that’s actually his hat.

“You shouldn’t tell anyone that,” Shakira drunkenly advises.

“Just sit your fine ass down and take your tequila shot,” he answers, and Shakira obeys.

Uh-oh. Shakira is playing pool again and she’s way past the window. She can’t even see the window. She can’t see the other side of the table.

It’s time to shift the party into After Party Mode at GWH’s and Hartnett’s house. The girls think it would be a really great idea to have whiskey and Coke! Yay! Shakira can’t sit still and must examine every CD in the CD player. These boys have to have something that doesn’t suck. Gigi, meanwhile, leafs through some sort of hunting and fishing catalog. Hee, those West Texas boys are funny. Gigi is particularly interested in the camou wading pants.

“I’d like to see you model those,” she says to Bruce Banner.

He raises an eyebrow and smiles. Shakira suspects a possible love connection.

Shakira has taken up residence on the tile floor. This doesn’t strike anyone in the room as strange. Ahhh, comfy tile. There’s some talk of bachi ball but there’s no way she’s playing. What the hell is bachi ball anyway? Shakira just wants to make out with GWH. Everyone leave! she says in her mind. Maybe the power of the whiskey will make her demands known.

In the morning, it’s time for Shakira’s Walk of Shame. Dude, where are the fucking keys? She checks her purse. They are so not there. She is so not looking forward to searching The Great White Hope’s house for them. Oh well, maybe that means she crawls back in bed and deals with it later.

She peers through the Lude’s window and sees the keys.

Hanging from the ignition.

Doors.

Unlocked.